What Men Want

 

*   (Gen 1:27 NIV)  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

*   (Gen 5:2 NIV)  He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them "man." Or “Adam”

*   (Mark 10:6-9 NIV)  "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' {7} 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, {8} and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. {9} Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

 

It is obvious that women are of the “Man” kind but they are not men. Regardless of what political correctness would like us to believe there are fundamental differences between men and women. Does this mean there is no overlap? No, it certainly does not. Men tend to be taller than women but some women are taller than some men. Men tend to be stronger than women but some women are stronger than some men. Women tend to be more verbal than men but some men are more verbal than some women. Today if someone mentions these differences they run the risk of someone else disputing the valid generalization by appealing to the exceptional cases. This is akin to asserting someone is not too bright because that person declared dogs have four legs. Or: asserting that someone is bigoted because they note the obvious fact that black people tend to excel in certain sports.  True there are exceptions, but arguing the exceptions does little to advance the conversation and does not invalidate the generalization. It is absolutely true that God loves men and women equally and it is also true that God has established a hierarchy in this life that recognizes the differences in men and women. Those differences are evident in all aspects of the lives of both men and women. It is important to note that a hierarchy does not establish a superiority of one person with respect to another person. It simply establishes order in order to resolve possible conflict.

 

Today I am going to share an article I read a few years ago that recognizes these differences and offers ideas on how to successfully deal with some of them.

 

MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2004

WND Exclusive Commentary

 

What men want

By Vox Day

 


There is probably no question so universally feared by men the world over than one heard throughout the living rooms of the world on a nightly basis. "What are you thinking about?" True, "Do I look fat?" is arguably more laden with inherent danger, but there the answer is obvious: "No."

Now, this is not the typically self-flagellating column about men written by a man in a degrading attempt to appeal to female readers – the literary equivalent of the repugnant canine habit of rolling on one's back and urinating. Rather, it is a brief attempt to decrypt the male psyche for the benefit of women who might be interested.

First, men require respect the way that women need love and affection. For some reason, many women operate under the misconception that treating the men in their lives disrespectfully is cute or somehow scores them social points. But not only does this behavior lower the woman in the eyes of those witnessing it, rest assured that it causes bitter resentment in the man so treated, even if he refuses to speak out in his own defense.

Remember that stoicism is a male virtue. Whereas a woman is unlikely to remain silent when she is angry, male silence in the face of provocation is often a serious statement that is dangerous to ignore. Men don't like to talk things out, they prefer to think things through. A man who is silent while being abused is a man who is considering his options and, often, preparing to act.

Men are not as complex as women. Whereas a woman speaks for reaction, to test and gauge what her next words should be, men, being generally less verbally skilled, have a greater tendency to articulate their meaning as precisely as they can. The more a woman pushes and probes for clarification, the further she is likely to diverge from the message intended. This does not mean there is never a subtext, but in most cases, text and subtext are the same.

A man defines himself by his responsibility, and one of them, strange as it may seem, is the mood of his woman. A man whose woman is unhappy considers himself a failure, and the short-sighted woman will use this knowledge to her temporary advantage. But even the sharpest tool grows dull with use – the wise woman will eschew such manipulation and instead choose to regard her man as a potential refuge from her troubles rather than the inherent cause of them.

A man may feel he is responsible for a woman's feelings, but the truth is that he can do very little about them even if he wants to. Most of the time, happiness is a choice. Making the choice to be happy whenever possible, even in spite of difficult circumstances, can be the difference between a lifetime of shared bliss or mutual misery.

Male confidence is always attractive to a woman, which is why tearing it down almost always leaves a woman dissatisfied with the result. It is said that whereas a woman is, a man must become. Without the confidence to become what he is meant to be, a man remains incomplete. The woman who can learn to read her man, to see when his confidence is shaken, and assure him that even if he cannot believe in himself at the moment, she still does, that woman will inspire loyalty that would shame a dog.

Finally, it is not a bad thing to encourage the boy within the man from time to time. The man who cannot put aside the cares of supporting a family from time to time is a widow waiting to happen. The woman who not only accepts, but supports the male friendships of her husband will always be the most popular woman among the married men in her social circle. And learning even a little about football and holding a staunch opinion on which Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model is the prettiest will go a surprisingly long way in ensuring acceptance by the boys.

If a woman treats a man with civility and respect, maintains a cheerful attitude toward him and encourages him to believe in himself, he will not only respond with love and affection, but will consider it an honor to lay down his life for her, both metaphorically and, if the occasion demands it, literally.

 

Vox Day is a novelist and Christian libertarian. He is a member of the SFWA, Mensa and the Southern Baptist Convention, and has been down with Madden since 1992. His weekly column is syndicated nationally by Universal Press Syndicate. Visit his web log, Vox Popoli, for daily commentary and responses to reader email. © 2002 WorldNetDaily.com, Inc.